Monday, November 30, 2009

Life According to C.

**Side note: Ok, wow, so I totally failed the posting every day in November thing. Sorry! We had waayyyy too much going on including Thanksgiving, A's birthday, a trip to Disney World, and several friends' parties, just to name a few.

Ok, on to life according to C:

Me: Uh oh, mommy made a bad choice.

C: WHAT!>?

Me: Mommy made a bad driving choice.

C: Not a really bad choice though, right? I mean, just a little bad choice? You're not going to have to go to women's prison are you?!?!

Monday, November 9, 2009

Not My Child! Monday!



It was not MY child who tried to show me how to "pee pee" standing up, and then, after hearing an explanation of why girls (including mommy) do not stand up to pee pee, loudly pronounced to anyone who would listen "Daddy doesn't have a penis, he pee pees like mommy!"

It was also not MY child who had to be carried out of the dollar tree kicking and screaming because he could not have a piece of candy. It was also not my child who used a noise maker (like at a football game) in the middle of that same store. My children always behave like little angels in public.

Finally, it was not MY child who had a choclate covered doughnut for breakfast today because mommy was in a hurry to get to work. They always eat well-balanced meals. Plus, I wouldn't actually buy chocolate doughnuts.

Yay!

Yay!! Toys R Us reopened! Our local TRU was closed after some storm damage and there were questions as to whether it would reopen at all. Well, it did! Phew! We've been doing our Christmas and birthday (A turns 3 on Saturday) shopping at Target and Walmart and the selection there isn't great. Would you believe we don't have any other toy stores? It's crazy!

DH and I met at TRU today over lunch and, except for ONE thing, we finished the boys' Christmas and A's birthday shopping!! Yay for us! The bad thing is, we haven't purchased anything for anyone else. Boo! I'm going to get right on that and order my mom's gift. I can't say what it is, because I think she reads this sometimes :) Let's just say it's amazing, I want one, and it's sorta kinda blog-inspired!

I hope that everyone had a fabulous weekend and that you are marking things off of YOUR Christmas list as well. 45 Days left!

Brownie Bake-off

Well...we didn't win :( But, that's ok, we had a blast! It was so much fun and it was for a great cause, so what better way to spend the afternoon? We also had some repeat customers (one family came back 4 times to buy brownies), so I know that they were good. I'm going to post the recipe anyway :)

Sunkissed Brownies

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 cups sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened and divided
4 eggs
2 teaspoons pure orange extract
1 teaspoon grated orange zest
4 blocks of semi-sweet baking chocolate
Nuts, if you like them in brownies. (I don't)

Grease a 13 by 9 by 2-inch pan and set aside. In a mixing bowl, stir together flour, sugar, and salt. Melt chocolate with half a stick of butter over low heat. Add chocolate to flour mixture. Add remaining butter, eggs, orange extract, and orange zest and beat with a handheld electric mixer until well blended. Pour batter into prepared pan and bake for 30 minutes, or until brown and set. When cool, ice with sunkissed icing (below).

Sunkissed Icing

1/2 stick butter, room temperature
8 ounces cream cheese, room temperature
4 cups powdered sugar
3 tablespoons orange juice
1 tablespoon orange zest

Beat the butter and cream cheese with a hand mixer until fluffy and light. Add the powdered sugar and beat until combined. Add the orange juice and zest and beat until thoroughly combined

***Note: This recipe is an adaptation of Paula Deen's orange brownies

Friday, November 6, 2009

A quickie!

In keeping with the NaBloPoMo or whatever, I have to post today, but i'm swamped, so this is a quickie.

Wish us luck! My mom and I are entering a charity brownie bake-off tomorrow. We are making orange brownies w/ cream cheese frosting. YUM! Our team name is "orange you glad we're here!?" We're so corny.

If it turns out well, I'll post the recipe :)

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Taking Deep Breaths....

How stressful is it when a family member goes too far in their 'advice'? Even when they don't MEAN to be harmful, it can be. Very. A member of my family has been VERY vocal with me regarding the H1N1 vaccine, and insists that the boys should have it. While I very much appreciate the concern for my children, I'm beginning to resent the implication that I cannot intelligently evaulate the situation and determine what's best for my kids on my own. I really DO have that ability. In fact, My husband and I made a decision about the vaccine after conversations with the pediatrician, a nurse practitioner, and our own research.

The resentment has been building over the past few days because I have recieved daily emails with additional information from this family member. Today's email takes the cake. Let me share with you just a few lines:

"I came across this study on handwashing/prevention of disease in children under 5. We should be able to reduce the number of incidences of illness with A and C during flu season by being slightly more diligent."

"Here is the copy/paste from the Lancet on handwashing (not trying to imply that your/our house has conditions like rural Pakistan at least not on most
days!)"

"Handwashing with soap prevents the two clinical syndromes that cause the largest number of childhood deaths globally-namely, diarrhoea and acute lower respiratory infections. Handwashing with daily bathing also prevents impetigo." (From the article).

Try as I might, I am really having a hard time with this. I want to express that the email crosses a line with me, but I don't want to step on any toes. GGrrrrr. I'm so mad!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Life According to C

C: Grandma...please stop talking. They are focusing on you and people should be focusing on me.

******

This morning:

A and C: Can we have a peice of trick or treat candy?

DH: Yes, AFTER you eat your breakfast.

A and C: Ok.

A few minutes later.....in comes A, chewing.

DH: What are you eating?

A: MMHHsie LLLLL (read: tootsie roll)

DH: Are you eating your tootsie roll?

A: **nodding** (after all, he has a mouth full of tootsie roll)

DH: Didn't I tell you that you could have your candy AFTER breakfast?

C: I unwrapped it for him, daddy. I know what's best for my brother.

*******

The other day we were at a stoplight and I was searching through my purse for makeup. The light turned green and I didn't go right away.

C: Mommy, you shouldn't go through your purse when you are stopped at a light. The light might go green and you might not go in time.

Me: You're right, Connor, I'm sorry. I won't do that again.

C: OH! You don't have to apologize, mommy! Just don't do it again.

Sometimes I forget he's just 4.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

College Night



Tonight I get to venture out of the armpit of Florida to participate in a perspective student college night in Georgia. Wesleyan College, my undergraduate institution doesn't have an admissions rep available to go, so I get to go as an alum. Last year was my first year participating, and I love it. The best part is that another alum will be there too, and it's always great to relive the glory days!

Wesleyan is a women's college, and attending was the best decision I have ever made. I truly grew so much in the four years that I was there and am now part of a wonderful sisterhood that spans many generations. I love going out and meeting future Wesleyannes and talking to them about my experiences. Some scoff at the idea of attending a women's college (I did!), but one visit to the campus and most are hooked. It's truly an amazing place.

Wish me luck in recruiting tonight!

Monday, November 2, 2009

Not Me! Monday!



Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Gotta love not me! Mondays!

It was not me who took a phone call in a bookstore this weekend leaving my DH to lead a very frustrated and very LOUD two-year old away from the train table in the kids' section. Not me!

It was not me who had to run to the toy store 30 minutes before a birthday party started in order to buy a gender-neutral gift for the birthday....kid, because I didn't know if the child was a boy or girl even though they've been in A's class for six months. Not me! I know the names/ages/genders of everyone in both boys' classes!(The answer: BOY)

I also would NEVER take a few minutes to read a book before going to my in-laws house when A, C and DH left a few minutes before me and I said I'd "be right there." I always enjoy family gatherings and rush to join the fun!

It was also not me who used "I need to dye my hair" as an excuse to be late to the in-laws. I'm never late anywhere. Ever.

Finally, it was definitely not me who let the boys wear their Halloween socks three days in a row because we were late and I couldn't find any other matching and clean pairs. My children are always impecibly dressed, matching, and clean. At all times.

National Blog Post Month

Ok, so I'm taking the lead from Nat and Steph and taking part in my very first ever National Blog Post Month (NaBloPoMo). I'll try to post every day in November. Nobody even dare mention that I didn't post yesterday, thus already failing at posting every day. I'll post two today to make up for it....ok?

So, since I JUST decided to do this, i'm going to give you some bullet points of my thoughts at the moment:

~I just moved offices and the Shift key on my keyboard sticks. It is maddening.

~I am SUPER excited about a family trip to Disney World for A's birthday in three weeks.

~I miss my brother, but I am really really proud of him for tackling and succeeding in medical school.

~I am SUPER psyched about visiting him and his wife in December.

~I need a new job.

~My husband is fabulous, even when I've not been the best wife as of late.

~I love getting to work early and having a quiet office all to myself.

~My car is a level three disaster.

~I need to have a garage sale.

~I started a new diet again today for the 3424th time. Even I am sick of me.

~Both of my boys were batman this year for Halloween, even after I went all over town and poured over the internet to find a Diego costume for A.

~I want a new couch, the old one smells like dog.

~I have a newly formed addiction to La Croix water. Connor says it "tastes like pee pee"

~My office is no longer quiet so I need to work.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Life According to A

A is hilarious. He seriously makes us laugh all day long. He has a mix of a wonderful sense of humor and a very serious side which makes for some zingers that come out of his mouth.

A is almost 3 now, and not potty trained. In fact, up until yesterday, A had NO interest in the potty. I learned the hard way with C that you can't force the issue. When they're ready, they're ready. When they're not...well...they're not.

Last night A informed me that he wanted to use the potty. Great!!!! We clapped and praised and helped him out of his pull-up. Then he insisted he had to be "nakedheimer" in order to use the potty. Fine, no problem! So, we helped A get "nakedheimer" and he sat on the potty. And sat, and sat, and sat. 25 minutes later, still sitting. Nakedheimer.

Finally, we heard a little toot. A jumped up and looked in the potty. Then, he very very seriously said: Mommy, there's no poop in there! I guess my fart didn't work!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Not Me! Monday!



Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I did NOT make a modified version of MckMama's version of redneck caviar and eat the entire thing with my husband. I also did not become so addicted to the stuff that I made it three times this week for dinner and stopped at the grocery store with two screaming kiddos to get the accompanying fritos. Not me! I always cook and serve only well-balanced meals, never only chips and dip. Not me! (In my own defense, *if* I had done that, the kids would've eaten better than that, *if I did it, which I didn't....)

I did not go out to dinner with my husband and his coworker and her spouse only to order something that skeezed me out so badly when looking at it that I couldn't eat it. Especially at a nice restaurant, especially at a work dinner. Not me! I always enjoy fine dining and am always willing to try new things!

Seriously now, when learning that my in-laws (who I love!) were looking for a house to rent, I did not tell them that there was one 3 houses down from us causing them to rent it. I would never overlook the possible problems that may cause in the future. Not me! I always think ahead.

I also did not forget that C spilled a whole container of chickfila milk in the car leading to choruses of "EWWWWWw..what's that SMELL" when we got in the car this morning. Not me! I always clean things up immediately. It's also not me that now has to pay for a shampooing of the smelly car. Not me!

Friday, October 9, 2009

Life According to C and A...

C: Mommy, can we go to the museum today?

Me: No, C, I'm sorry, but we have to get home and get dinner and have tubby time. We can go back this weekend.

C: You NEVER EVER EVER EVER let me do ANYTHING!

A few minutes later:

A: Mommy, can we stop at McDonald's (pronounced Mik-a-donalds)?

Me : Not today honey.

A: Don't you never ever ever ever let us go to McDonald's!!! It makes me sad.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

I'm going to call this one...


For just about the last three years, A's constant companion was his ninny (read: pacifier). Ninny was second only to night-night (his blanket). A LOVES ninny. He even had his own ninny language when he needed to communicate with us but did not want to bother with taking it out of his mouth. A wanted ninny when he was happy, sad, sick, sleepy, grumpy, sneezy, dopey....sorry, I got carried away. I really should have taken it away from him before now, but I kept putting it off. A's my last biological baby, and mommy has had a hard time letting him grow up too fast.

On Sunday, the unthinkable happened. We "lost" ninny. (Note the quotes.) A went to bed on Sunday night without ninny, and, surprisingly, he didn't cry. He DID however, sing his own personal version of jingle bells for 45 minutes until he fell asleep. (A's version of jingle bells goes like this: Jingle BELLLLLLLLLS Jingle BELLLLLS Jingle in the way! Oh, that is what we do and this is what we saaayyyyyyy!!)Since that day, he's asked for ninny all of two times. I just keep reminding him that ninny is "lost" and I don't know where it is. He accepts this and moves on.

So, I'm calling this one. Our family is officially 100% ninny-free. Except that *I* still have ninny, because I can't get rid of it. It's just "lost" in a great place that hopefully A won't discover! So, goodbye, ninny! We'll miss you. As for night-night, you can stick around. Heck, A can take you to college with him if he wants!

Monday, October 5, 2009

If you stopped by tonight....

If you stopped by our household on any given day, you'd hear a lot of laughter, squealing, and sometimes a little crying. Tonight, however, if you stopped by our house, you would've heard the following:

1. Please go back to the bathroom and put your pants on.

2. Do NOT hit your brother with your underwear.

3. Please do not stand on the arm of the sofa.

4. Jumping on our brother's head is not a good idea.

5. No, touching the dog's bottom is not a choice.

6. Wiping your bottom with fabric softener is not a good choice.

7. We do not spit on our toys.

8. We are not renaming the cat "Tuesday."

9. Yes, everything IS a cycle. Sure, even capri suns, power lines, and trees.

10. No, surprisingly, the Christmas lights are not on yet.

11. Ok, we'll ask daddy if he will be a mommy jaguar for halloween.

12. I'm sorry, we're having spaghetti for dinner. We cannot have meat (roast), hot dogs, cookies, and scrambled eggs.

Not Me! Monday!



Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

It is not possible that I let my children stay in PJs all day long this weekend instead of dressing them in adorably cute outfits when I knew my in-laws were coming over. Not me!

I also did not throw away a perfectly good tupperware container when cleaning out the fridge because I was too scared to open it up and discover what sort of weird science experiment we had going on in there. Not Me!

I did not spend a huge amount of time reading Sookie Stackhouse novels this weekend instead of cleaning my house. Not me! I would never, ever, EVER spend my time with such mindless reading when I'm supposed to be reading The Count of Monte Cristo for my book club. Not me!

I did NOT ask for a day and a half off of work so that I could leave my family for a night to go a couple of hours away to see Brad Paisley in concert even though I already saw him this year along with Kenney Chesney and Toby Keith. Not me!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Why Is 4 So Difficult?

Oh, C. I love you so much. You're my sweet, tender-hearted, caring, oh-so-serious boy. You take everything very literally and to heart. You are very smart, too smart for mommy and daddy's own good, I fear. But, why, oh WHY do you have to pitch such fits?

Four years old is proving tough for me. I've probably mentioned it before. It's worth mentioning again. C has taken to tantruming. A lot. Did I mention, a lot? Just this morning he burst into a fit of tears and screaming because he did not want to get out of bed. Wanted pancakes instead of eggs, and did not want to pull the chair up to the counter to "help" prepare breakfast. I'm usually a softie mom, but this morning, after having NO sleep because a certain four year old would not go to sleep, I was tired and cranky, and late. So, this time, I let him scream while I went ahead and made breakfast. His shreiks of "you hurt my feelings!" and "you're being mean to me!" broke my heart. I don't want to be harsh with him, but I have to teach him that you can't live your life throwing tantrums to get things.

We're really struggling with behavior right now, and I'm at a loss on what to do. The time outs don't seem to be working. We've tried losing priviledges or toys when he acts up, but that's not making a dent either. I'm considering trying a "behavior jar" and putting money or some other trinket in it and then taking one away when he acts up. Then, at the end of the week he can have a treat associated with whatever he has left. Hopefully, that will work.

We're also struggling with sleep, still. He doesn't fall asleep on his own. He doesn't stay in his bed. Many many many people say to let him cry it out. I did try that once, but it didn't go well. I suppose that I can try again, but am I going to scar him for life? That sounds so dramatic, but he's so tender-hearted. What to do??? We've tried rewards for falling asleep alone, but he just says he can't do it. The thing is, he CAN, he has done it when visiting my dad.

Right now I feel very lost as a mommy, like I'm not doing it right at all.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Life According to C and A

C: Mommy, I do not want to go to school on Friday.

Me: Why not?

C: It's talk like a pirate day on Friday and my friends will be dressed up like pirates.

Me: Well, that sounds fun! Why don't you want to go?

C: I just don't.

Me: Is there a reason? ARrrrgghh, talking like a pirate is fun, matey!

C: It's just too much fun for me, mommy.


*****

A: I want a pepop! (read: lollipop)

Me: No, you may not have a pepop until you eat your dinner.

A: I want a pepop!

Me: Nope, not until after dinner.

A: I no want dinner.

Me: Ok, you don't have to eat if you're not hungry, but you can't have a pepop.

A: [tantrum] I no want dinner! I want pepop! I gonna take my ninny and run away!

{How is it that my 2 year old knows about running away??}

Later:

C: I want ice cream.

A: NO! You have to eat dinner first!!!

Friday, August 14, 2009

Life According to A.

Me: Did you have a good day at school?

A: I cried at school tomorrow, mommy.

Me: You did? Why did you cry at school?

A: Because. Because I love it!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Vegetarian Chili


I love this veggie chili recipe, so I thought I'd share it! It is so yummy with a dollop of sour cream on top and really filling. Good for you, too! I love all the colors when i'm prepping the veggies. Isn't it pretty?

Ok, I should clarify, it's not totally my recipe, it's adapted from a recipe on the low carb friends website from the South Beach Diet group.

Olive oil
2 yellow onions, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 medium zucchini, chunked
1 large red bell pepper
1 large orange bell pepper
1 to 2 jalapeƱo peppers, seeded, finely minced
1 can of corn, drained
1 can of tomatos w/ zesty green chilis
1 28-ounce can Italian plum tomatoes
1-2 Tbsp Lantana Seasoning
1 Tbsp ground cumin
1 1/2 cup cooked white beans (1 15-ounce can, drained and rinsed)
1 1/2 cup cooked kidney beans (1 15-ounce can, drained and rinsed)
Salt and black pepper to taste

Saute the onions in the olive oil for a few minutes until soft, add the garlic and saute another minute or so. Dump in all the veggies, including the canned tomatos and corn. Simmer until the veggies soften. Add the spices and the beans to taste and simmer 20-30 more minutes. Serve with sour cream and fresh cilantro. Yum!

Monday, August 10, 2009

Not Me! Monday!



Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Bear with me all, this is my first Not Me! Monday! post. :)


It was not ME who let her children go to bed with no bath for two nights in a row. Uh-uh....Not me! I would NEVER let my children go to bed with only a bird bath, especially after one of them enjoyed discovering the wonders of maple syrup. Not me.

Also, it was most certainly NOT me who taught C to yell, "Run honey, RUN!" at the TV when watching football. I would never teach him that.

I would never ever ever yell out "Oh Poop!" when realizing that I left my key in the front door of the house for half a day while out at play dates and running errands. It wouldn't be ME that would say that in front of her children leading to a chorus of "oh poop!" for days on end. Oh yeah, and it was not me that left my key in the front door of the house for hours either. Not me!

It's not me that still let's C fall asleep holding my hand at night because I'm too chicken and too much of a softie to change the situation. It's not MY heart that melts with "but, momma, I want to be with YOU!" Ok, yeah, maybe that one IS me :)

Friday, August 7, 2009

Life According to C

C: Mommy, I can do without the sarcasm.

* * *

M: C, we do not yell at our brother, or anyone else for that matter. It's not nice and it's not the way to get what you want.

C: At school Cole took my train and I yelled at him. He gave it back. It worked for me!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Nine years

Today I've been married to my wonderful DH for nine years. I'm not quite sure where the time went. In some ways it seems like yesterday that we got married and then in others it feels like we've always been together.

He is absolutely my best friend in the whole world, the best father I could ever hope for my children to have, the best middle of the night noise checker, bug killer, hamburger griller, budget maker, movie cuddler, calmer-downer (it's a word), train set builder, little army-man player, grocery carrier, child toter, etc. in the whole world.

I love you, M!

Monday, August 3, 2009

It's not fair!!!

How many times do we hear this from our kids? If you're anything like me, it's ALL THE TIME. A has my favorite truck, IT'S NOT FAIR! C got the last applesauce, IT'S NOT FAIR! Etc, etc, etc. Lately, though, it's me that wants to scream that it's not fair. Sometimes life just seems unfair.

Recently I came across the story of Stellan and his wonderful family. What a sweet baby boy who has had and continues to have to face so much in his short life. I won't even begin to try to tell his story, his mother does that more beautifully than I ever could. If you get a chance, check out her blog. Stellan and his family have been on my mind non-stop these last few weeks. At any rate, it's not fair. It's not fair that his mother has to watch her precious boy suffer, or that his siblings have to know sickness at such an early age, it's just not fair.

Then there's my friend, a bright, beautiful, sweet woman who deserves nothing more than to find her happily ever after. Unfortunately, the one most of us thought would be prince charming turned out to be just another frog. There's no doubt that the prince is really out there, just waiting to find her, but it's not fair that she has to wait, and it's not fair that she has to hurt.

There's also a woman at work who wants nothing more than to be appreciated. She does her job, and the job of several other people. She's often not rewarded. It would take nothing more than a pat on the back, a good job, or a "you're appreciated" to make her day. Sadly, the people that she works for haven't thought to say that yet. Hopefully they will. It's not fair that she hasn't heard it.

My husband works in the child welfare field. The things he sees on a daily basis that horrify me, and I only know a smidgen of what he sees. It is beyond me that there are parents out there that do not look at their children with absolute wonder and delight. I cannot imagine that there are people that do not cherish their children. I cannot even fathom how child abuse occurs. Yet it does. It's not fair that there are abused children and that there are so many wonderful people who would make amazing parents but cannot have children. It's not fair.

I think that I just needed to get that out. Now, feel free to all tell me that "Life isn't fair." I know, my mother told me that the first time I complained that my brother got to go to the zoo with a friend and I couldn't go (I ran away. Not far, since I wasn't allowed to cross the street).

So, today, I'm going to hug my kids extra tight, try not to get too irritated when C throws a tantrum because he can't watch another cartoon or when A sticks his tongue out at me when I tell him no, I'm going to kiss my husband and make sure he knows that I appreciate him and all he does, I'm going to take a minute to smell the sweet smell of freshly washed baby hair, and I'm going to thank the people that I work with that make my life easier. Somehow that just might make everything a little more fair.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Life According to A and C

Me: How was your day at school?

C: It's complicated, mommy.

**********

Teacher: You're wet, let's go get fresh!

A: Ms. N. (his favorite teacher) will handle it.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Life According to C

A: I have two penises!!!!

C: NO you don't! You have one, you only have ONE!

A: Oh......I have ONE penis!

C: That's right.

A few minutes later.....

C: Mommy, there sure are a lot of penises in this world.

I'm rethinking the whole "use the right anatomical term" idea, but the conversation was hilarious. :)

Friday, June 5, 2009

Please keep B in your prayers

A good friend of mine and co-worker has had a really tough year. She's had to deal with the death of her mother, her father's illness, and now her husband is in intensive care with some major health issues. My heart just hurts for B. She's been through so much, much more than anyone should have to bear, especially so close together. She's a sweet caring person who could use some good thoughts and prayers right now. If you have any to spare, I'd appreciate it.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Such a good big brother!


This weekend was wet, rainy, and yucky in our neck of the woods. There was lots of thunder and lightning and it stormed for awhile. A is VERY afraid of thunder. One night a few months ago he woke up to a bad storm in the middle of the night. Every single night since then he asks me where the thunder is when I put him to bed. Every night I have to say, "Thunder went bye-bye! All gone!" and then he goes to sleep.


Poor thing was very scared last night, the storm just wouldn't let up. C, however, was being an awesome big brother. He would hold A's hand and tell him that it was ok, not to be afraid. C even tried to explain thunder to A, which I think actually helped ease his fears a little bit. Mommy's heart just melted when I heard this from the back of the car:


C: "A, are you afraid?"


A: "Yes!"


C: "Here, I'll hold your hand! Don't be afraid, A, I will take care of you."


a few minutes later...


C: "A, are you still afraid?"


A: "No."


C: "Good, I was worried about you!!"


He was so sweet to his brother!



Monday, May 11, 2009

"I love Mommy, Sunday!"

Wow, what a weekend! It was jam packed. At the end of last week my family went down to see my little brother graduate from college. He's off to medical school in the fall and we are all so proud of him. He and his wife have a big summer ahead trying to move and get settled in a new place before he starts school again.

The bad news was that I got really really sick. Seriously ill with the stomach flu. 4 adults and 2 kids in a 2 bedroom condo when you have the flu is less than fun. Worse than that is feeling incredibly guilty that I left my brother, sister-in-law, and mom to take care of the boys while I laid on the air mattress and prayed to feel better. I felt like a horrible mom and sister, still do!

We got back on Saturday and then spent a nice low-key mother's day together. My wonderful DH and the boys gave me a full day at the spa! I cannot WAIT to have a day of pampering and relaxation. It was really extravagant but very thoughtful, I'm so lucky! The boys were in a good mood and we played most of the morning before we made the rounds to visit grandmas. At one point they were fighting over what day it was, C insisting that it was Sunday and A insisting that it was "mommy day." They finally agreed that it was "I love Mommy, Sunday!"

What a wonderful mother's day! I'm so blessed to have my two beautiful boys, they are such a joy.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

The World According to C

"Mommy, I don't feel good. I think I have a murmur, like Baby A."

* * * *

"Mommy, I need a new knee, just like Gaga!"

* * * *

C: "Paleontologists are people that look for dinosaur bones. They look for bones of carnivores and herbivores. Egg stealing ovoraptors are carnivores."

me: "Are you a carnivore or an herbivore?"

C: "A carnivore, I don't eat plants!"

me: "You eat fruits and veggies, those are plants!"

C: (literally smacks his forehead) "OH! I eat chicken! Do you think T-rex eats chicken? Haha, I'm just joking. I'm so silly."

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Last Night's Excitement

Yesterday was a crazy day. I was home sick with a sore throat, but, I couldn't seem to make myself rest, so I did a lot of housework. It was actually a pretty productive day, but I felt worse in the evening than I did when I woke up.

You can imagine that by the time C and A were soundly sleeping in their beds, I was ready for some mommy time. I put on my favorite tank top and jammie pants and went to pull my hair into a ponytail when...wait....what's that in my hair? Is that a knot? No....it's gooey.....EWWW, it feels like gum!! EW! Wait...wait...no, nobody had gum today. This is where I start screaming for DH (and we wonder where C gets his drama??)

DH, between snorts of laughter, identifies the glob in my hair as a yogo. For those of you that don't know, yogos are little bits of fruit roll-up type material covered in yogurt. They are usually brightly colored. This one was neon green.

How in the world did the little goblins get a yogo in my hair you may ask? Well, lately, we play airplane a lot. The bed is the airplane, the ceiling fan is the "engine." The whole family has to "board" the plane by sitting on the bed and C, the pilot, of course, starts the plane and jumps on. So far, our family has been to Orlando, Dinosaurland, Africa, and China on these ubercomfortable jets. Today, C served yogos as our in-flight snack. A has a tendency to get disgusted by yogos and take them out of his mouth. This was right before bedtime...you see where I'm going with this....

So, not only was my hair globby with neon green melty yogo, it was RIGHT next to my scalp. I just KNEW I'd have to cut it out and I'd look like my brother looked when he was two and I decided to give him a haircut. Luckily, after a REALLY hot shower, a hairbrush, 4 shampoos, and lots of yelling at DH to stop laughing, I got the yogo out of my hair.

On the bright side, my hair is REALLY clean....

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Update on Prayers for A

Just a quick update, because if I don't get some work done soon people may start questioning what exactly I do all day. A returned to Dr. N this week for test results. His appointment was scheduled late in the afternoon so that I could work most of the day. However, around noon his nurse called and asked if we could come in at 2, because Dr. N had some cancellations and "wanted to end his day early."

Fine. We go in early.

Dr. N, however, didn't have time to see us long, so he sent his PA to deliver the results. She kept saying things like, "the test results are relatively normal," and "for the most part, it's good news." I kept waiting for the bomb to drop, but, it never came.

So, turns out all the test results were normal. Based on the fact that A has only had one "episode," we're going to watch him and see if anything else presents itself.

At the end of the appointment, Dr. N came in to say, "A's test results are good." He then instructed me to over salt A's food. He said to start slow, but gradually go up to a lot of salt, so he'd get used to the taste. The reasoning? So his blood pressure won't go low and he won't faint. But...he doesn't have low blood pressure? What?

Does it seem to anyone else that this is setting him up for HIGH blood pressure later in life with all the salt? Clearly, I'm going to need his ped's input on this.

We saw the ped on Monday, for a murmur check. He maintains that it's an innocent murmur, but says we can see a pediatric cardiologist if we need to for our own "anxiety." He mentioned that he knew DH was "more anxious" that I am about diagnoses. Anyone who knows me knows that this is hilarious, because *I* am the one who freaks out. That' s ok, we don't have to share that with the ped.....

I did tell him that, should A need further neurological care, we would not be going with Dr. N. The ped laughed and said I wasn't the first parent to say that and he'd help us with a referral to the university hospital.

That's all in A's medical drama for now. We'd appreciate continued prayers!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

The World According to C

"Mommy, I'm really glad that I'm here, I sure do have to help you remember a LOT!"

* * * *

"Easter is coming! I love Easter, I get Easter candy, I can hunt Easter eggs, we made an Easter cake...but, Mommy? Right now, I have to go pee Easter pee!"

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Owls Don't Sleep At Night!

Tonight C and I had one of those moments. He was being a sweet boy and we were cuddling before bed. We read our books, told a goodnight story, and then C was "teaching" me the songs that he learned at school. He sang a cute firefighter song, and most of the ABC's, but he got to U and became "too tired" to continue. (My twin calls him a divo...this is totally appropriate.)

C asked me to sing him something, so I sang Laurie Bernker's Goodnight Song. If you haven't heard it, it's really cute. Here are the lyrics:

I'm a little tiger and my mommy loves me. I'm a little tiger and my daddy loves me, and when they tuck me in to say goodnight they say grrr, grrr, grrr, goodnight. Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight little tiger goodnight.

The song goes on with a little frog, little owl, and finally a little kid. Tonight when I got to little owl, C stopped me. "Actually, mommy.....owls don't sleep at night. Owls are nocturnal, they sleep during the day. So, owls aren't going to sleep right now. It's night time."

C never ceases to amaze me. He's so cute and so smart (and I'm not biased at all...very much....) I told him that he was absolutely right and I would not sing the owl part. C got really quiet, gave me a kiss and said, "that's ok, mommy. If you want to sing the owl part, you can." Such a sweet boy! It was a hallmark moment and the perfect way to end the day. That is until C said, "mommy, do you know the pick your nose song? It's gross. Really gross."

Moment. Over.

Monday, April 6, 2009

The Boys Are Back In Town!

Well, they're back. C and A had the best Spring Break EVER! They're already starting to talk about going back and what they are going to do the next time that they visit Poppa and Goose's house. C informed me that next time, I was not to pick him up for six weeks! I swear that they grew and matured while they were gone. A is speaking in full conversations now and C just seems to be older and wiser.

After we picked them up from the grandparents we went home for a nap and then headed out to our local university's spring scrimage football game. Dh and I had been talking about taking the boys to a game, and thought this was the perfect chance to try it out. We arrived at the stadium and the boys were very impressed. They ran up and down the ramps, rode the elevator, and let mommy and daddy hold them while we went up and down the stadium steps a million times. (Ouch, my legs are sore!) They got to see the mascot's horse, which C proclaimed to look JUST like his dog, the cheerleaders, and they got to dance to the music. We had a blast, until, that is, the game actually started. Then we heard a lot of "I'm bored," "I'm hungry," "I'm ready to go!" So, it's not time to buy the season tickets just yet. Dh was disappointed that he didn't get a chance to scout out the team.

We ended the night with a trip to C's favorite pizza place where the boys ate a TON and played video games. It was such a nice family night out, being that we had all had a "break" and were refreshed. A ended the evening by telling me, "I WUB you mommy, I give you TISS!" and giving me a big smooch. What a perfect way to end the day!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Kid-free days and long distance worry

So C and A are still at my dad's. I'm amazed that they made it this far. I miss them more than I could possibly say. Every time I call to check (which I am embarrassed to admit is multiple times a day) they are too busy to talk to mommy. Although, A did manage a, "hi mommy!" before he ran off into his fort made out of a refrigerator box. This is forcing me to admit that my babies are growing up and aren't babies anymore!

On Monday, A spiked a temp and my dad and stepmother took him into the doctor's office for a checkup. All was OK, they suspect a sore throat and gave him some augmentin. I'm a little surprised that they gave him antibiotics without a positive strep test. The scary part is, the doctor heard a heart murmur. He said it was loud and he was surprised that A was cleared for his ear tube surgery last month without checking it out. Of course, my heart hit the floor. With all the recent testing and scares this terrified me. After a call to my pediatrician, I realized/remembered that a heart murmur was heard when A was 4 months old and that it was a vibratory murmur, thought to be innocent. The pedi said that if A was sick, he probably had increased cardiac output which caused the doc to hear the murmur. Don't freak out, he said, but bring him in for an appointment in a couple of weeks and we'll check it out. So, more testing for A. Poor guy.

The worst part about all of this (apart from general health worries for A) is that I'm so far away. I just want to cuddle him and read books, and rock him and do our normal sick baby routine and I can't. I hate that I'm not there to make the calls that need to be made and give him his medicine and just be mommy. It's so hard to give up control! A good friend at work pointed out to me that I needed to let other people handle things sometimes, and that I try to take on too much. I think this is a mommy thing.

What do you all think? Does anyone else have a hard time letting other people handle kid things?

A cute side story, my dad's wife has a grandniece (I think i have this right) who is about A's age. She's been over to play some while A and C are visiting. A is in love with her. He scoots over next to her as close as he can get, lays his head on her shoulder, and bats his eyelashes. I think I have a lady killer on my hands!

Monday, March 30, 2009

I miss my babies!!

This weekend, I took C and A down to my dad's house to spend spring break with Poppa and Goose. We drove down Saturday afternoon and I stayed overnight and drove back on Sunday. This is C and A's first trip away from home. Sure, they've done overnights with grandma before, but never more than a night. The only exception is when I took the bar exam, C stayed with my dad for two nights.

At first, I was a little excited, thinking of everything I could get done with a couple of kid-free days. I knew I'd miss them, but I had NO IDEA how hard it would be to have them so far away. It feels like my very reason being is gone. I literally don't know what to do with myself! I also worry about C, he's very sensitive and a mommy's boy, so I hope he doesn't miss me TOO much (only a little)! I did get some much needed housework done yesterday and an awesome sushi date with DH last night.

C and A, however, are having the best time. C has declared that A is now his "servant" and must do what he wants. A is not so hot on this idea. The best thing so far for them is that they get to go on long walks with Poppa, look for snakes, and play "elevator" with the pocket doors in my dad's house. They are also in love with the hamster at Poppa's house, which Goose thinks should come back to our house. Mommy thinks otherwise.

We'll see how long they last down there. I would not be shocked if they got homesick and came home before the end of the week. Then again, I may get kid-sick and go GET them before the end of the week. We'll see!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Chugging along

So, there's not much new to report. We're continuing with the testing for A, but haven't received any results yet. Our "follow up" appointment with Dr. N is not until April 7, but I'm trying to get it moved because I'm pretty sure that I cannot hang onto my sanity for that long.

A's EEG was a few days ago, he did brilliantly. We were told to expect him to cry and scream when he was going to sleep because of the medicine, but he didn't. He was an angel. We did the test and he woke up great. He spent the rest of the day looking like he'd gotten into a bottle of Jose Cuervo, but was otherwise fine. Today was his EKG, and it took longer to do the paperwork than it did the test. Literally. There's something wrong with that!

So, not much to report, but I did want to share a little funny. This morning I was in the shower desperately trying to get the last few drops of conditioner out of the bottle and the bottle made that noise it makes when there isn't much left. From the other side of the shower curtain I hear, "Bwess you mommy! Say 'scuse me!" A is a hoot!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Prayers for A

Phew, what a week. Last Tuesday, A was at school and had an "episode" for lack of a better word. He was playing puzzles next to his teacher and scrunched his eyes together and whimpered. He then felt around like he was searching for something to hold onto and fell straight back. He didn't open his eyes when he fell, but he did 2 seconds later when the teacher scooped him up. He didn't cry, but seemed tired afterwards. The preschool director and teachers feel like it was probably a seizure. Of course, mommy's mind has jumped to the worst possible of all explanations. It doesn't help that A's classmate was airlifted to a teaching hospital to have a brain tumor removed last week.

A went to the pediatrician the next day, who said, it could have been a seizure, or it could be nothing. So, he referred A to the pediatric neurologist. The only pediatric neurologist in town. Before the appointment I had heard horrible things about this doctor, ranging from misdiagnosis, overdosing, and just plain indecent treatment. However, because of our insurance, we had to see him once and then ask for a second opinion. I was prepared for the worst, and that's just what we got.

We arrived at the doctor's office and waited for ages. They then put us in a room that looked like a closet and we wait again. Some time after the nurse left, Dr. N came in and said, please step into my office. We did, and he proceeded down the hall and was gone for 10 minutes. No introduction, no "I'll be right back," nothing. Dr. N then came back in and said, "Ok, I'm listening." I was already less than impressed, but proceeded to explain to him what had happened, and offered him a written up narrative of what the teacher had witnesses. Dr. N, however, did not want to see it, he said he was fine with my interpretation of what the narrative said. Grr...

After hearing the explanation, Dr. N felt like it was probably nothing, but ordered a sedated EEG and an EKG to make sure. He didn't actually TELL me this, but included it in his dictation while we were sitting there. Shortly before we were to leave, A, who was in my mom's lap and playing with her, began to shake his head because he was playing a game with grandma. Dr. N said, "OH! OH! He's showing me something, he may be having a seizure!"

Ok, No. Thanks for playing, doc, but that was NOT a seizure, that was a 2 year old being silly. It all boils down to the fact that I don't trust this man to put a band aid on A, much less treat him for any neurological problem he may or may not have. We'll go forward with the testing, but, in the event of any abnormal results, A is going directly to the university teaching hospital without passing go or collecting $200. Dr. N will, under no circumstances, be directing his care.

So, if you have any prayers or good thoughts to spare, A and I would appreciate them. I'm hoping that it was nothing, just a fluke or A being silly, but I'm terrified and I hate that A has to go through all this testing. It's no fun for an adult who understands but it must be awful for a toddler who doesn't.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

I can't believe I actually did it!

For this past Christmas, my brother and sister-in-law (we'll call them J and J) entered me into the Princess 5k at Disney World. They knew that I had been "training" doing the couch to 5k program and was anxious to try to run a race. It was a great gift! The problem was the "training" fell off and I didn't really finish the program yet. I restarted it recently and got to week 6 of the 9 week program. So, I didn't feel exactly ready, but I was excited to try.

The trip to the race was approaching and I was incredibly anxious. I knew that I'd have to walk/run it and didn't know if I'd make it in the 45 minute pacing requirement. (I realize how sad that is, but hey, i'm working on it!) Also, I've gained so much weight lately that, as my favorite low carb blogger says, the city might just zone my right thigh. (Thanks, Cleo!) More than anything, though, was the fact that I still have post traumatic stress issues from running the mile in the 6th grade and being the last kid huffing and puffing through it. Really, I thought about backing out a million times. The only thing keeping me in it was that NOT doing it would disappoint my brother and I would never want to do that.

The day before the race I went to Orlando to visit with J and J. We went to an awesome dinner the night before at Seasons 52, which was amazing. We stayed up WAAYY too late and talked, but it was great because I don't get to see them nearly as much as I should. The morning of the race we had to get up wayyyy early because we hadn't picked up our race packets yet. We got there with about 30 seconds to spare, pinned on our numbers and ran to the start line. Yes, we had to run TO the race :)

The race started, and it was great! I loved it. We finished just under 45 minutes, but that was because of my need to walk/run. J and J run all the time, so they could do it easily, but, they stayed with me the whole time. We visited and laughed in between my huffing and puffing. It was fabulous and I'm SO glad I did it. I cannot even express how exciting it was to actually cross the finish line.

After the race we went to breakfast and to Whole Foods (i've never been, and wanted to after watching Top Chef), we went back to J and J's house, I showered and changed and then had to leave pretty soon to pick up C and grandma from the airport. I'll fill you in on those details later. Let's just say it took the promise of an airplane ride to get C potty trained!

At any rate, I did it, I finished, and I am so proud of myself. It was an embarassingly slow pace, but I was not the last one by far. Next, I'll finish the program and RUN the next 5k, the whole thing. I'm motivated now! Perhaps the best part, just after crossing the finish line at a run, was that C picked up the "medal" that all the finishers got and said, "Mommy, this is beautiful, I'm so proud of you!"

Some things I learned:
  • Wine before race day is NOT the best idea.
  • Neither is staying up really late and getting up really early.
  • Don't guzzle water while running.
  • You get to eat what you want the rest of the day after a race because you "just ran a 5k!" (This is not my rule, but I was assured it's the way to go!)
If anyone is interested in the couch to 5k, it can be found at http://www.coolrunning.com/. It's an amazing program and you can do it no matter HOW out of shape you are. Trust me...seriously.

At the race I saw a shirt and I'm adopting its saying as my motto for running:

DLF>DNF>DNS
Dead Last Finish is greater than Did Not Finish which is greater than Did not Start!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Twins!

After yesterday's rambling, not so happy post, I thought I'd share a little funny. A have a fabulous friend at work. She is by far one of the wittiest, funniest, and kindest people that I know. That in itself is funny because when I heard we would be working at the same place after law school, I wasn't thrilled. I wasn't exactly sure we would get along, I sort of though she would be cold and snobby. That was COMPLETELY the wrong call on my part, as I said, she's fantabulous! My first impression was totally off and totally uncalled for, because I really didn't know her.

At any rate, my friend and I are now often in each other's offices, going to lunch, gossiping....that is, when we're not working, of course. In fact, we're known about the office as the twins. If one of us is roaming separately, we are inevitably asked about the other's whereabouts. The thing is, we don't exactly look alike, because we are of different ethnic backgrounds, have completely different body types, in fact, everything about us physically is opposite, except that we're both women.

Last week, my twin needed some items from the local warehouse store for an event and she doesn't have a membership. She asked me if I had one, which I did. She asked if she could borrow my membership card. I said, sure, but it has my picture on it. She said, "OK, we're twins."

Enter crickets chirping....

After a long and what our fellow bad kids at work would have called an awkward turtle moment, I had to remind her that, although we certainly ARE twins, we don't exactly look alike. Cue the out of control laughter. I'm not capturing the hilarity of the moment, so you're going to have to trust me on this one. It was classic!

My twin and I ended up going to the store together and out for a quick lunch at a favorite restaurant. The only problem with the place is that the man who I'm pretty sure is applying to be my friend's stalker works there. But, that is a story for a different day. Let's just say it involves more out of control laughter, awkward moments, and completely outrageous lies.....

Monday, March 2, 2009

Coming to terms with friendship.

Last night, in one of my all too common insomniac moments, DH and I began discussing friendships. He said that he wanted to become better about pushing friends away and letting friendships die. I thought he meant that wanted to try harder to keep his friends. He didn't. What DH really meant, and explained to me in the middle of the night, was that he knew that he had some friendships that had died a natural death and that he needed to allow to end.

Lately, a friend, who I would have considered close, has been going through some tough times. But, fortunately, things have turned around for her and she's headed into a much better direction than she was six months ago. It seems, however, that she's not as willing to put as much into our friendship now, now that she doesn't need a friend as badly as before. It's a friendship of convenience. It was convenient for her then, it's not now. I've found myself working incredibly hard lately to hang onto the relationship.

The conversation with DH and the status of my current friendship has me thinking. Do you think friendships are really like this? Do we sometimes hold onto them too tightly when it's past time to let them go? I'd like to think not, but then again, I don't know.

People come in and out of our lives constantly, and I've treasured each of the friendships that I've made. I love that my I have friends, one or two in particular, that I can go years without seeing, and the minute we see each other we're chatting and laughing like no time has passed at all. There are also regrets, things I know that I should have handled differently, people that I wish I hadn't hurt and been hurt by. The thing is, each of these people has had a profound impact on my life, and I wouldn't be who I am today without them.

Today's post is really just a ramble, but I'd love to hear other's thoughts on the issue of friendship.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Questions with C

I stole this from Steph, I thought it was a cute idea. C was NOT into it.

1. What is something mom always says to you? “I love you!”

2. What makes mom happy? - “Me”

3. What makes mom sad? "When I’m not here”

4. How does your mom make you laugh? "Playing a joke”

5. What was your mom like as a child? - "I don't know."

6. How old is your mom? - "Thirteen."

7. How tall is your mom? "Seventy feet”

8. What is her favorite thing to do? "I don‘t know."

9. What does your mom do when you're not around? "Cry."

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? "Work”

11. What is your mom really good at? “Loving me”

12. What is your mom not very good at? “Riding the elevator”

13. What does your mom do for her job? "Type, read, and ride the elevator."

14. What is your mom's favorite food? - "Celery "

15. What makes you proud of your mom? "You, you, you”

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be? "Makin’ movies”

17. What do you and your mom do together? "Play."

18. How are you and your mom the same? "I’m four and you’re two”

19. How are you and your mom different? - "You’re wearing clothes and I’m wearing jammies”

20. How do you know your mom loves you? - "Cause you like me”

21. What does your mom like most about your dad? - "Playing with toys, reading books, and watching TV”

22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go? - "I don’t know."

A date with McDreamy

This morning A had his follow up appointment with his ear surgeon, our hometown's own Dr. McDreamy. Seriously, he's adorable. There are few men, other than hubby of course, that make my stomach flutter. McDreamy does! The women in my office whose kids have seen him all wanted to go with me just to look at him. He has that way about him where, when he's talking to you, you feel like you're the only person on the planet.....*sigh*....Oh, right...the story....

So, A and I set out this morning to McDreamy's office. We were late, of course, and A had to finish his breakfast in the car. He was still munching on his dry cheerios (blech, but the kid loves them) when we got to the office. I told A, "we have to leave the Cheerios in the car, buddy!" "Ok," replies A. Then, I hear a suspicious noise and turn around to discover A has dumped the entire container of cereal in the floorboard.

He looks at me with gleaming eyes and says, "Cheerios are in the car! Thank you, buddy!" What a little bugger that one is. He loves to thank himself when he thinks he's done a good thing. I probably should have explained that cheerios are not to be dumped in the car, but he was too cute, so I didn't. This probably means I'll have cereal in my car again soon.....

We finally made it to McDreamy's office for an all too short visit wherein he said the ears were fine, and that they needed to be checked every 4-6 months. But...sadly...a family practitioner or pediatrician can do it, we need not go back to McDreamy. Have I mentioned that our pediatrician is the anti-McDreamy? (No offense, doc, you're great and all, but....) He did put us down to visit "as needed," so, you know, we may see him again!

Thus ended our date with McDreamy. A went to preschool where he sobbed when I left, this is why mommy does NOT do drop-off. I like to do pick-up, it's a much happier time. Now I'm trying to remember if I've had any ear problems that need attention.....hmm...

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

So much for the big guns.

Of my two beautiful, amazing boys, my youngest is by far the best sleeper. Or...he was.... C has always had a hard time sleeping. He's 4 and is yet to sleep through the night, or fall asleep by himself. We've tried it all. Twice. He just doesn't sleep well.

A, however, has always been a fabulous sleeper. I lay him down, hand him his night night (read: blanket) and ninny (read: paci...don't judge, I'm working on it!) and say, "mommy loves you, you are my angel! Night, night, ok?" A says, "ok," rolls over and goes to sleep for the entire night without a peep. Or, he did.

Since his surgery and ear troubles, A has gotten VERY spoiled. He's now used to cuddling in the middle of the night. Many a night we ended up in the same bed. Now, though, A is better and mommy is ready to drop the middle of the night snuggle fests. A, is not. Two nights ago, I was going to be strong. When he cried I was going to check on him, smooch him, tell him night night and go back to sleep. After, "I want mommy!!!" and frantic grabbing at my shirt, my dear hubby woke up to A and I asleep in the big bed in his room. Hubby rolled his eyes. I shrugged and smooched my sweet baby and informed hubby that he was the "big guns" and HE was on baby duty next.

Last night, I laid down and reminded hubby that he was on call. A woke up around 2, and I, of course, had to wake hubby up and tell him to go to A. "Be strong!" I called after him.

This morning I groggily rolled out of bed and started to shuffle in the general direction of the coffee pot when it hit me...hubby was NOT in bed. Uh oh....Where was he? Up ready to hand me coffee? Nope, snuggled in the bed with A. So much for the big guns!

Me: "WHAT HAPPENED, Mr. Toughguy?"

Hubby: "He said, I wub you, daddy!"

What could I say? I wasn't any tougher....

So, here's to trying again tonight, and hoping that my children will not need me to come to college to soothe them in the middle of the night.....

Anyone have suggestions on what to do next?!?!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Riding a blue horse to California

C: Mommy, I rode a blue horse!

Me: You did?!? Wow!

C: Yep, he only had one leg. Actually, he had no legs.

Me: If he had no legs, how did he walk.

C: [incredulous look] Like THIS...[makes leaping hand movements]

Me: OH! Of course!!! Well, where did you go?

C: California.

Me: That sounds like a lot of fun. Why didn't you take me?

C: Mooooooommmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, you were there [another incredulous look]

Me: Oh! Yes, of course.

Who rides a blue horse with no legs to California and forgets? I MUST have memory problems!

Monday, February 16, 2009

Weekend Conversation

C: Mommy, African people are not from Earth.

Me: Yes they are, African people live in Africa, which is on Earth.

C: No they don't, they live far away from [our hometown].

Me: Well, Africa IS far away from [our hometown], but it's still on Earth.

C: I KNOW that, I've been to Africa.

Me: You have? When did you go there?

C: When I was a little boy, I went to Africa. I saw giraffes and lions and zebras and elephants.

Me: Oh yeah? Was it hot or cold in Africa when you were there?

C: It was not hot OR cold, it was 60 degrees. Just right!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Enter mommy guilt, stage left

What a week. What a horrendous week that just won't end! The littlest is sick this week. He's been sick for at least a week and has seen the pediatrician 3 times. He has to go again Monday morning.

The poor thing has been a trooper through this whole ordeal. He's taken ear drops, neb treatments, oral meds, and shots, and hardly fussed at all. Meanwhile, mommy wants to fuss a lot. This has been going on too long, why isn't he better? Who is at fault for the medicine mix-up causing him to take the wrong dose for 4 days? Why can't we just FIX this so my baby is better?

Whenever the kids get sick, the mommy guilt comes with it. I should be home with them, cuddling them, keeping an eye on them. Instead, I'm home some, the husband is home some, and grandparents keep him, too. We are BLESSED to have so much family that loves the children and wants to keep them. I truly have no idea how we would function without them.

However, I hate that I can't be with them every moment. I hate that sometimes I'm in my office drinking coffee and my child is home sick and miserable. I hate that I have to be there, but I also hate myself for the fact that I WANT to work. I feel whole when I work. Why can't I be both places all the time?

Luckily, I do make it to every doctor's appointment, it's the one thing I won't give up. Also luckily, I have an understanding boss who lets me leave when I need to. I could be in a worse predicament. There is such a dichotomy between the professional me and the personal me and I feel like the two "me"s are in a constant battle.

Anyone else deal with a bad, chronic case of mommy guilt?

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Conversation during the morning commute

C: Mommy, when I am 64 years old, I do not want to go to school.

Me: Ok, when you are 64 years old, you do not have to go to school.

C: Ok, how about when I'm 6 years old, I do not have to go to school.

Me: You have to go to school until you're 18, maybe 22. Why don't you want to go to school? School is fun!

C: I don't want to go.

Me: If you don't go to school, you have to work. At work you don't get to play outside, do artwork, or read fun books.

C: I know, all you do at work is read all day and ride the elevator. That is SO boring. I would NEVER EVER do THAT!

And thus began the day....

Friday, February 6, 2009

The one thing I will NOT apologize for.

I'm a compulsive apologizer. I can't help it. I say, "I'm sorry!" all day long. Most of the time it doesn't reflect my own feelings of guilt, but I hate it when people have to deal with unpleasantries. Don't we all? My compulsive apologizing drives my husband crazy. He's always saying, "it's not YOUR fault!" I know that, but, I genuinely feel bad. Ok, wait, I admit it that I usually automatically assume I'm at fault if someone is upset, but that's a different post.



Yesterday, however, my behavior irritated some, but I refuse to apologize. My youngest child had to go in for what was relatively minor surgery. It was outpatient and we were home within 5 hours of when we left. I was a nervous wreck, and had been all week. All week people had been telling me it was "nothing" "minor" "no big deal." I knew all this, after all, my oldest child had the exact same procedure done. It didn't matter, though, because it was my baby going into surgery. I had to give him over, screaming, to a nurse at the OR door. He had to go by himself, and he was scared, and there was not a thing I could do about it.



As they took him into the OR, screaming for mommy, daddy, and grandma, I cried. Not the sobbing, hysterical crying, mind you, but I was crying. My usually even tempered husband started looking slightly irritated with my constant worrying. There were, at my last count, about 5 other sets of parents in the waiting room with children having the same or similar procedures. The husbands looked at each other wearily while the wives sniffed. Most of the nurses were sympathetic and understood that it wasn't easy. There were some that scoffed, though. Some of the volunteers rolled their eyes.


This time was nowhere near as bad as the first time my mommy emotions got away from me. I was a new mom and had to take my newborn to the pediatrician for a bilirubin check. He had been home for 12 hours. The doctor took one look at his lab results and told me that he had to be admitted, and I lost my mind. This time it WAS the hysterical sobbing and gasping for air type crying. The doctor took one look at me and said, "I don't know what you're so upset about, this is garden variety pediatrics." What was I so upset about???? My first born and the new love of my life had to be hospitalized. He was poked and prodded and stuck, and could only be held for 10 minutes every few hours, and I hated it for him.

I'm not sorry that my emotions made others uncomfortable, I refuse to apologize for that. My children are my world, and I treasure them more than anything. Like all moms, I hate for them to have to experience pain and fear and will do my best to protect them. But, when situations like this arise, where it's necessary for them to experience these things, I hurt for them and with them. For this, I do not apologize.

So, while I'm sorry that someone had a bad day, is getting a divorce, had a car accident, or burnt their dinner, I'm not sorry that I wear my love for my children on my sleeves.