Questions with C

I stole this from Steph, I thought it was a cute idea. C was NOT into it.

1. What is something mom always says to you? “I love you!”

2. What makes mom happy? - “Me”

3. What makes mom sad? "When I’m not here”

4. How does your mom make you laugh? "Playing a joke”

5. What was your mom like as a child? - "I don't know."

6. How old is your mom? - "Thirteen."

7. How tall is your mom? "Seventy feet”

8. What is her favorite thing to do? "I don‘t know."

9. What does your mom do when you're not around? "Cry."

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? "Work”

11. What is your mom really good at? “Loving me”

12. What is your mom not very good at? “Riding the elevator”

13. What does your mom do for her job? "Type, read, and ride the elevator."

14. What is your mom's favorite food? - "Celery "

15. What makes you proud of your mom? "You, you, you”

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be? "Makin’ movies”

17. What do you and your mom do together? "Play."

18. How are you and your mom the same? "I’m four and you’re two”

19. How are you and your mom different? - "You’re wearing clothes and I’m wearing jammies”

20. How do you know your mom loves you? - "Cause you like me”

21. What does your mom like most about your dad? - "Playing with toys, reading books, and watching TV”

22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go? - "I don’t know."

A date with McDreamy

This morning A had his follow up appointment with his ear surgeon, our hometown's own Dr. McDreamy. Seriously, he's adorable. There are few men, other than hubby of course, that make my stomach flutter. McDreamy does! The women in my office whose kids have seen him all wanted to go with me just to look at him. He has that way about him where, when he's talking to you, you feel like you're the only person on the planet.....*sigh*....Oh, right...the story....

So, A and I set out this morning to McDreamy's office. We were late, of course, and A had to finish his breakfast in the car. He was still munching on his dry cheerios (blech, but the kid loves them) when we got to the office. I told A, "we have to leave the Cheerios in the car, buddy!" "Ok," replies A. Then, I hear a suspicious noise and turn around to discover A has dumped the entire container of cereal in the floorboard.

He looks at me with gleaming eyes and says, "Cheerios are in the car! Thank you, buddy!" What a little bugger that one is. He loves to thank himself when he thinks he's done a good thing. I probably should have explained that cheerios are not to be dumped in the car, but he was too cute, so I didn't. This probably means I'll have cereal in my car again soon.....

We finally made it to McDreamy's office for an all too short visit wherein he said the ears were fine, and that they needed to be checked every 4-6 months. But...sadly...a family practitioner or pediatrician can do it, we need not go back to McDreamy. Have I mentioned that our pediatrician is the anti-McDreamy? (No offense, doc, you're great and all, but....) He did put us down to visit "as needed," so, you know, we may see him again!

Thus ended our date with McDreamy. A went to preschool where he sobbed when I left, this is why mommy does NOT do drop-off. I like to do pick-up, it's a much happier time. Now I'm trying to remember if I've had any ear problems that need attention.....hmm...

So much for the big guns.

Of my two beautiful, amazing boys, my youngest is by far the best sleeper. Or...he was.... C has always had a hard time sleeping. He's 4 and is yet to sleep through the night, or fall asleep by himself. We've tried it all. Twice. He just doesn't sleep well.

A, however, has always been a fabulous sleeper. I lay him down, hand him his night night (read: blanket) and ninny (read: paci...don't judge, I'm working on it!) and say, "mommy loves you, you are my angel! Night, night, ok?" A says, "ok," rolls over and goes to sleep for the entire night without a peep. Or, he did.

Since his surgery and ear troubles, A has gotten VERY spoiled. He's now used to cuddling in the middle of the night. Many a night we ended up in the same bed. Now, though, A is better and mommy is ready to drop the middle of the night snuggle fests. A, is not. Two nights ago, I was going to be strong. When he cried I was going to check on him, smooch him, tell him night night and go back to sleep. After, "I want mommy!!!" and frantic grabbing at my shirt, my dear hubby woke up to A and I asleep in the big bed in his room. Hubby rolled his eyes. I shrugged and smooched my sweet baby and informed hubby that he was the "big guns" and HE was on baby duty next.

Last night, I laid down and reminded hubby that he was on call. A woke up around 2, and I, of course, had to wake hubby up and tell him to go to A. "Be strong!" I called after him.

This morning I groggily rolled out of bed and started to shuffle in the general direction of the coffee pot when it hit me...hubby was NOT in bed. Uh oh....Where was he? Up ready to hand me coffee? Nope, snuggled in the bed with A. So much for the big guns!

Me: "WHAT HAPPENED, Mr. Toughguy?"

Hubby: "He said, I wub you, daddy!"

What could I say? I wasn't any tougher....

So, here's to trying again tonight, and hoping that my children will not need me to come to college to soothe them in the middle of the night.....

Anyone have suggestions on what to do next?!?!

Riding a blue horse to California

C: Mommy, I rode a blue horse!

Me: You did?!? Wow!

C: Yep, he only had one leg. Actually, he had no legs.

Me: If he had no legs, how did he walk.

C: [incredulous look] Like THIS...[makes leaping hand movements]

Me: OH! Of course!!! Well, where did you go?

C: California.

Me: That sounds like a lot of fun. Why didn't you take me?

C: Mooooooommmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, you were there [another incredulous look]

Me: Oh! Yes, of course.

Who rides a blue horse with no legs to California and forgets? I MUST have memory problems!

Weekend Conversation

C: Mommy, African people are not from Earth.

Me: Yes they are, African people live in Africa, which is on Earth.

C: No they don't, they live far away from [our hometown].

Me: Well, Africa IS far away from [our hometown], but it's still on Earth.

C: I KNOW that, I've been to Africa.

Me: You have? When did you go there?

C: When I was a little boy, I went to Africa. I saw giraffes and lions and zebras and elephants.

Me: Oh yeah? Was it hot or cold in Africa when you were there?

C: It was not hot OR cold, it was 60 degrees. Just right!

Enter mommy guilt, stage left

What a week. What a horrendous week that just won't end! The littlest is sick this week. He's been sick for at least a week and has seen the pediatrician 3 times. He has to go again Monday morning.

The poor thing has been a trooper through this whole ordeal. He's taken ear drops, neb treatments, oral meds, and shots, and hardly fussed at all. Meanwhile, mommy wants to fuss a lot. This has been going on too long, why isn't he better? Who is at fault for the medicine mix-up causing him to take the wrong dose for 4 days? Why can't we just FIX this so my baby is better?

Whenever the kids get sick, the mommy guilt comes with it. I should be home with them, cuddling them, keeping an eye on them. Instead, I'm home some, the husband is home some, and grandparents keep him, too. We are BLESSED to have so much family that loves the children and wants to keep them. I truly have no idea how we would function without them.

However, I hate that I can't be with them every moment. I hate that sometimes I'm in my office drinking coffee and my child is home sick and miserable. I hate that I have to be there, but I also hate myself for the fact that I WANT to work. I feel whole when I work. Why can't I be both places all the time?

Luckily, I do make it to every doctor's appointment, it's the one thing I won't give up. Also luckily, I have an understanding boss who lets me leave when I need to. I could be in a worse predicament. There is such a dichotomy between the professional me and the personal me and I feel like the two "me"s are in a constant battle.

Anyone else deal with a bad, chronic case of mommy guilt?

Conversation during the morning commute

C: Mommy, when I am 64 years old, I do not want to go to school.

Me: Ok, when you are 64 years old, you do not have to go to school.

C: Ok, how about when I'm 6 years old, I do not have to go to school.

Me: You have to go to school until you're 18, maybe 22. Why don't you want to go to school? School is fun!

C: I don't want to go.

Me: If you don't go to school, you have to work. At work you don't get to play outside, do artwork, or read fun books.

C: I know, all you do at work is read all day and ride the elevator. That is SO boring. I would NEVER EVER do THAT!

And thus began the day....

The one thing I will NOT apologize for.

I'm a compulsive apologizer. I can't help it. I say, "I'm sorry!" all day long. Most of the time it doesn't reflect my own feelings of guilt, but I hate it when people have to deal with unpleasantries. Don't we all? My compulsive apologizing drives my husband crazy. He's always saying, "it's not YOUR fault!" I know that, but, I genuinely feel bad. Ok, wait, I admit it that I usually automatically assume I'm at fault if someone is upset, but that's a different post.



Yesterday, however, my behavior irritated some, but I refuse to apologize. My youngest child had to go in for what was relatively minor surgery. It was outpatient and we were home within 5 hours of when we left. I was a nervous wreck, and had been all week. All week people had been telling me it was "nothing" "minor" "no big deal." I knew all this, after all, my oldest child had the exact same procedure done. It didn't matter, though, because it was my baby going into surgery. I had to give him over, screaming, to a nurse at the OR door. He had to go by himself, and he was scared, and there was not a thing I could do about it.



As they took him into the OR, screaming for mommy, daddy, and grandma, I cried. Not the sobbing, hysterical crying, mind you, but I was crying. My usually even tempered husband started looking slightly irritated with my constant worrying. There were, at my last count, about 5 other sets of parents in the waiting room with children having the same or similar procedures. The husbands looked at each other wearily while the wives sniffed. Most of the nurses were sympathetic and understood that it wasn't easy. There were some that scoffed, though. Some of the volunteers rolled their eyes.

This time was nowhere near as bad as the first time my mommy emotions got away from me. I was a new mom and had to take my newborn to the pediatrician for a bilirubin check. He had been home for 12 hours. The doctor took one look at his lab results and told me that he had to be admitted, and I lost my mind. This time it WAS the hysterical sobbing and gasping for air type crying. The doctor took one look at me and said, "I don't know what you're so upset about, this is garden variety pediatrics." What was I so upset about???? My first born and the new love of my life had to be hospitalized. He was poked and prodded and stuck, and could only be held for 10 minutes every few hours, and I hated it for him.

I'm not sorry that my emotions made others uncomfortable, I refuse to apologize for that. My children are my world, and I treasure them more than anything. Like all moms, I hate for them to have to experience pain and fear and will do my best to protect them. But, when situations like this arise, where it's necessary for them to experience these things, I hurt for them and with them. For this, I do not apologize.

So, while I'm sorry that someone had a bad day, is getting a divorce, had a car accident, or burnt their dinner, I'm not sorry that I wear my love for my children on my sleeves.