Enter mommy guilt, stage left

What a week. What a horrendous week that just won't end! The littlest is sick this week. He's been sick for at least a week and has seen the pediatrician 3 times. He has to go again Monday morning.

The poor thing has been a trooper through this whole ordeal. He's taken ear drops, neb treatments, oral meds, and shots, and hardly fussed at all. Meanwhile, mommy wants to fuss a lot. This has been going on too long, why isn't he better? Who is at fault for the medicine mix-up causing him to take the wrong dose for 4 days? Why can't we just FIX this so my baby is better?

Whenever the kids get sick, the mommy guilt comes with it. I should be home with them, cuddling them, keeping an eye on them. Instead, I'm home some, the husband is home some, and grandparents keep him, too. We are BLESSED to have so much family that loves the children and wants to keep them. I truly have no idea how we would function without them.

However, I hate that I can't be with them every moment. I hate that sometimes I'm in my office drinking coffee and my child is home sick and miserable. I hate that I have to be there, but I also hate myself for the fact that I WANT to work. I feel whole when I work. Why can't I be both places all the time?

Luckily, I do make it to every doctor's appointment, it's the one thing I won't give up. Also luckily, I have an understanding boss who lets me leave when I need to. I could be in a worse predicament. There is such a dichotomy between the professional me and the personal me and I feel like the two "me"s are in a constant battle.

Anyone else deal with a bad, chronic case of mommy guilt?