I miss my babies!!

This weekend, I took C and A down to my dad's house to spend spring break with Poppa and Goose. We drove down Saturday afternoon and I stayed overnight and drove back on Sunday. This is C and A's first trip away from home. Sure, they've done overnights with grandma before, but never more than a night. The only exception is when I took the bar exam, C stayed with my dad for two nights.

At first, I was a little excited, thinking of everything I could get done with a couple of kid-free days. I knew I'd miss them, but I had NO IDEA how hard it would be to have them so far away. It feels like my very reason being is gone. I literally don't know what to do with myself! I also worry about C, he's very sensitive and a mommy's boy, so I hope he doesn't miss me TOO much (only a little)! I did get some much needed housework done yesterday and an awesome sushi date with DH last night.

C and A, however, are having the best time. C has declared that A is now his "servant" and must do what he wants. A is not so hot on this idea. The best thing so far for them is that they get to go on long walks with Poppa, look for snakes, and play "elevator" with the pocket doors in my dad's house. They are also in love with the hamster at Poppa's house, which Goose thinks should come back to our house. Mommy thinks otherwise.

We'll see how long they last down there. I would not be shocked if they got homesick and came home before the end of the week. Then again, I may get kid-sick and go GET them before the end of the week. We'll see!

Chugging along

So, there's not much new to report. We're continuing with the testing for A, but haven't received any results yet. Our "follow up" appointment with Dr. N is not until April 7, but I'm trying to get it moved because I'm pretty sure that I cannot hang onto my sanity for that long.

A's EEG was a few days ago, he did brilliantly. We were told to expect him to cry and scream when he was going to sleep because of the medicine, but he didn't. He was an angel. We did the test and he woke up great. He spent the rest of the day looking like he'd gotten into a bottle of Jose Cuervo, but was otherwise fine. Today was his EKG, and it took longer to do the paperwork than it did the test. Literally. There's something wrong with that!

So, not much to report, but I did want to share a little funny. This morning I was in the shower desperately trying to get the last few drops of conditioner out of the bottle and the bottle made that noise it makes when there isn't much left. From the other side of the shower curtain I hear, "Bwess you mommy! Say 'scuse me!" A is a hoot!

Prayers for A

Phew, what a week. Last Tuesday, A was at school and had an "episode" for lack of a better word. He was playing puzzles next to his teacher and scrunched his eyes together and whimpered. He then felt around like he was searching for something to hold onto and fell straight back. He didn't open his eyes when he fell, but he did 2 seconds later when the teacher scooped him up. He didn't cry, but seemed tired afterwards. The preschool director and teachers feel like it was probably a seizure. Of course, mommy's mind has jumped to the worst possible of all explanations. It doesn't help that A's classmate was airlifted to a teaching hospital to have a brain tumor removed last week.

A went to the pediatrician the next day, who said, it could have been a seizure, or it could be nothing. So, he referred A to the pediatric neurologist. The only pediatric neurologist in town. Before the appointment I had heard horrible things about this doctor, ranging from misdiagnosis, overdosing, and just plain indecent treatment. However, because of our insurance, we had to see him once and then ask for a second opinion. I was prepared for the worst, and that's just what we got.

We arrived at the doctor's office and waited for ages. They then put us in a room that looked like a closet and we wait again. Some time after the nurse left, Dr. N came in and said, please step into my office. We did, and he proceeded down the hall and was gone for 10 minutes. No introduction, no "I'll be right back," nothing. Dr. N then came back in and said, "Ok, I'm listening." I was already less than impressed, but proceeded to explain to him what had happened, and offered him a written up narrative of what the teacher had witnesses. Dr. N, however, did not want to see it, he said he was fine with my interpretation of what the narrative said. Grr...

After hearing the explanation, Dr. N felt like it was probably nothing, but ordered a sedated EEG and an EKG to make sure. He didn't actually TELL me this, but included it in his dictation while we were sitting there. Shortly before we were to leave, A, who was in my mom's lap and playing with her, began to shake his head because he was playing a game with grandma. Dr. N said, "OH! OH! He's showing me something, he may be having a seizure!"

Ok, No. Thanks for playing, doc, but that was NOT a seizure, that was a 2 year old being silly. It all boils down to the fact that I don't trust this man to put a band aid on A, much less treat him for any neurological problem he may or may not have. We'll go forward with the testing, but, in the event of any abnormal results, A is going directly to the university teaching hospital without passing go or collecting $200. Dr. N will, under no circumstances, be directing his care.

So, if you have any prayers or good thoughts to spare, A and I would appreciate them. I'm hoping that it was nothing, just a fluke or A being silly, but I'm terrified and I hate that A has to go through all this testing. It's no fun for an adult who understands but it must be awful for a toddler who doesn't.

I can't believe I actually did it!

For this past Christmas, my brother and sister-in-law (we'll call them J and J) entered me into the Princess 5k at Disney World. They knew that I had been "training" doing the couch to 5k program and was anxious to try to run a race. It was a great gift! The problem was the "training" fell off and I didn't really finish the program yet. I restarted it recently and got to week 6 of the 9 week program. So, I didn't feel exactly ready, but I was excited to try.

The trip to the race was approaching and I was incredibly anxious. I knew that I'd have to walk/run it and didn't know if I'd make it in the 45 minute pacing requirement. (I realize how sad that is, but hey, i'm working on it!) Also, I've gained so much weight lately that, as my favorite low carb blogger says, the city might just zone my right thigh. (Thanks, Cleo!) More than anything, though, was the fact that I still have post traumatic stress issues from running the mile in the 6th grade and being the last kid huffing and puffing through it. Really, I thought about backing out a million times. The only thing keeping me in it was that NOT doing it would disappoint my brother and I would never want to do that.

The day before the race I went to Orlando to visit with J and J. We went to an awesome dinner the night before at Seasons 52, which was amazing. We stayed up WAAYY too late and talked, but it was great because I don't get to see them nearly as much as I should. The morning of the race we had to get up wayyyy early because we hadn't picked up our race packets yet. We got there with about 30 seconds to spare, pinned on our numbers and ran to the start line. Yes, we had to run TO the race :)

The race started, and it was great! I loved it. We finished just under 45 minutes, but that was because of my need to walk/run. J and J run all the time, so they could do it easily, but, they stayed with me the whole time. We visited and laughed in between my huffing and puffing. It was fabulous and I'm SO glad I did it. I cannot even express how exciting it was to actually cross the finish line.

After the race we went to breakfast and to Whole Foods (i've never been, and wanted to after watching Top Chef), we went back to J and J's house, I showered and changed and then had to leave pretty soon to pick up C and grandma from the airport. I'll fill you in on those details later. Let's just say it took the promise of an airplane ride to get C potty trained!

At any rate, I did it, I finished, and I am so proud of myself. It was an embarassingly slow pace, but I was not the last one by far. Next, I'll finish the program and RUN the next 5k, the whole thing. I'm motivated now! Perhaps the best part, just after crossing the finish line at a run, was that C picked up the "medal" that all the finishers got and said, "Mommy, this is beautiful, I'm so proud of you!"

Some things I learned:

• Wine before race day is NOT the best idea.
• Neither is staying up really late and getting up really early.
• Don't guzzle water while running.
• You get to eat what you want the rest of the day after a race because you "just ran a 5k!" (This is not my rule, but I was assured it's the way to go!)

If anyone is interested in the couch to 5k, it can be found at http://www.coolrunning.com/. It's an amazing program and you can do it no matter HOW out of shape you are. Trust me...seriously.

At the race I saw a shirt and I'm adopting its saying as my motto for running:

DLF>DNF>DNS
Dead Last Finish is greater than Did Not Finish which is greater than Did not Start!

Twins!

After yesterday's rambling, not so happy post, I thought I'd share a little funny. A have a fabulous friend at work. She is by far one of the wittiest, funniest, and kindest people that I know. That in itself is funny because when I heard we would be working at the same place after law school, I wasn't thrilled. I wasn't exactly sure we would get along, I sort of though she would be cold and snobby. That was COMPLETELY the wrong call on my part, as I said, she's fantabulous! My first impression was totally off and totally uncalled for, because I really didn't know her.

At any rate, my friend and I are now often in each other's offices, going to lunch, gossiping....that is, when we're not working, of course. In fact, we're known about the office as the twins. If one of us is roaming separately, we are inevitably asked about the other's whereabouts. The thing is, we don't exactly look alike, because we are of different ethnic backgrounds, have completely different body types, in fact, everything about us physically is opposite, except that we're both women.

Last week, my twin needed some items from the local warehouse store for an event and she doesn't have a membership. She asked me if I had one, which I did. She asked if she could borrow my membership card. I said, sure, but it has my picture on it. She said, "OK, we're twins."

Enter crickets chirping....

After a long and what our fellow bad kids at work would have called an awkward turtle moment, I had to remind her that, although we certainly ARE twins, we don't exactly look alike. Cue the out of control laughter. I'm not capturing the hilarity of the moment, so you're going to have to trust me on this one. It was classic!

My twin and I ended up going to the store together and out for a quick lunch at a favorite restaurant. The only problem with the place is that the man who I'm pretty sure is applying to be my friend's stalker works there. But, that is a story for a different day. Let's just say it involves more out of control laughter, awkward moments, and completely outrageous lies.....

Coming to terms with friendship.

Last night, in one of my all too common insomniac moments, DH and I began discussing friendships. He said that he wanted to become better about pushing friends away and letting friendships die. I thought he meant that wanted to try harder to keep his friends. He didn't. What DH really meant, and explained to me in the middle of the night, was that he knew that he had some friendships that had died a natural death and that he needed to allow to end.

Lately, a friend, who I would have considered close, has been going through some tough times. But, fortunately, things have turned around for her and she's headed into a much better direction than she was six months ago. It seems, however, that she's not as willing to put as much into our friendship now, now that she doesn't need a friend as badly as before. It's a friendship of convenience. It was convenient for her then, it's not now. I've found myself working incredibly hard lately to hang onto the relationship.

The conversation with DH and the status of my current friendship has me thinking. Do you think friendships are really like this? Do we sometimes hold onto them too tightly when it's past time to let them go? I'd like to think not, but then again, I don't know.

People come in and out of our lives constantly, and I've treasured each of the friendships that I've made. I love that my I have friends, one or two in particular, that I can go years without seeing, and the minute we see each other we're chatting and laughing like no time has passed at all. There are also regrets, things I know that I should have handled differently, people that I wish I hadn't hurt and been hurt by. The thing is, each of these people has had a profound impact on my life, and I wouldn't be who I am today without them.

Today's post is really just a ramble, but I'd love to hear other's thoughts on the issue of friendship.